Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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