If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
