ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You made out with two different species that night
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
