omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
