Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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