After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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