The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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