I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
