I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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