my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
