I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
