I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
