READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
