If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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