After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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