How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
