Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
