I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize