So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
