please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
