There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
