honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
