btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize