i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
