yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I can't turn off my feet"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
