It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
