i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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