She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
