We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
