I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
