I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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