Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Who died my cat blue again?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
