does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just want to make out with him forever
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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