Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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