I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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