I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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