If i come over, it means nothing
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
