For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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