Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
