your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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