the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
