So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize