I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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