I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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