Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
