you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
