She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize