im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
