he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize