my shit smells like andre
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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