They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
