i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
