i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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