I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize