Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
NoShamevember. You game?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Randomize
