The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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