I have demons in me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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