Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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