I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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