Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
