I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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