This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
