Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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