singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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